That Poor Guy
All the sudden he realized how lonely he is .. No close friends to talk to .. Nothing other than work in his life. Life for him is just a matter of time.. Lost the reason of hanging in there .. Today is same like tomorrow, same like yesterday.
I asked him once .. How can u keep that big smile all the time .. He said, if I can’t be happy .. I’ll try to make others happy. They don’t know how he feels .. They think he is the happiest guy ever, even myself .. It was so sad when he just let it go out. He always disappear at night .. Always wondering where does this happy guy go .. He must has a secret life? .. Secret family? They didn’t know, No smile can last forever .. His night was his time to take this happy mask off .. And to be the real him.
I asked him again .. Why u don’t just let it go out to them ? .. He surprised me with his answer .. He said, I never did .. I never learned. He is the best in cheering others up .. He is the best listener ever .. They didn’t know that he is worst in sharing feelings. He thinks no one can understand him .. He is afraid that ppl will feel sorry for him .. It’s just a new concept for him. Sometimes he phases out and that smile will disappear .. Then they ask, where was ur mind? He never answered with other than a smile. He thinks talking about his feeling is a weakness .. The idea of ppl feeling sorry for him is just not in his dictionary.
He became well known with his smile .. He became the source of happiness for the ppl around him .. What about you? I feel bad when he locks himself in his room at night .. We dunno what is he doing .. He never told us how sad he was. He never had a “best” friend .. He thought he was surrounded with many .. But he was wrong .. They all left him. It is weird, I remember how he was close with many of them .. He was always there for them ..Today, he is just a memory for them.
He thought that smile will give him happiness .. But when he looks to the mirror .. He can only see how life is not fare. I told him many times .. You will never feel that way till u get it out of your chest .. His answer always was “No one deserve”. He heals his pain with smiles .. He never realized it’s just a short term solution .. It doesn’t work anymore. He tried to get it out by writing .. Nothing other than unknown codes and words .. Symbols that no one can understand .. He knew what he is doing .. But didn’t care.
Just don’t be that poor guy.